I am so far behind on posting that I am going to skip a bunch of things that have happened since my last post and go for the most important and incredible thing that has happened in our family.
I will start about 2 1/2 months ago, but first, a little background.
Our youngest daughter had gone off her meds for her bipolar depression and was back into drugs. We didn't know where she was or even if she was alive. She finally called us and we started to pick her up on Fridays and take her to lunch with us. She promised not to be high when she was with us. She kept her word.
One Saturday morning we got a call from the hospital telling us that she was in the hospital with a self-inflicted knife wound. When we got there she was going into surgery. The surgeon spoke with us before she went in to patch our daughter up. I thank God that she was a Christian. Our daughter had tried to kill herself and stuck a large kitchen knife in her gut. Thanks to our faithful God, she missed every vital organ. I mean, what are the chances of that? The surgeon was even amazed. She did, however, nick a major artery and lost a lot of blood. We just kept praying and thanking God while we waited for her to get out of surgery. We spent the rest of the day sitting and holding her hand and praying. We were so thankful to still have our daughter.
After she was able to leave the hospital in Centralia, she was transported to Harbor View hospital in Tacoma to the psych ward to get back on her mental health meds. She was there 5 days. We went and picked her up. We were hoping she would be willing to go somewhere besides where she had been living, but reluctantly dropped her off there. If we would have had room, we would have brought her home with us, but we didn't.
We picked her up at a motel (where she had rented a room so she could shower and do laundry because the water from the well at the house she was living at was bad) for lunch on Friday as usual. She wasn't right. She was singing Christmas songs, crying for the Princess, and talking about God killing people in His own name. Her facial features weren't normal either. She couldn't even finish a sentence. We thought she was surely on something. We were able to talk her into letting us pick her up for church the next Sunday evening. After we dropped her back off at the motel, we go a call before we left town and went back. She was argueing with the manager because he didn't want to let her back in the room because she owed him money. He finally let her back in and she locked the door and wouldn't respond when her dad knocked. He could hear her in there crying. Due to recent events, that scared us pretty badly, so we went to the mental health office. They were closed, but, thank God, someone was there that consented to talk with us. They said they would have the police pick her up and take her to the emergency room and have her evaluated. They tested her for drugs and she was clean. (We realized later that what we saw was a bipolar episode)
The next day, Saturday, I went to a Christian Women's Prayer Conference. While there, I had another woman pray with me for our daughter. After we were done praying, she looked at me and said, "She'll call." I thought, "great," and forgot all about what she said. Fifteen minutes after I got home, she called her dad and asked if we could pick her up in the morning for church! God is so awesome!
The next morning we picked her up and she was better, but not quite back to what we thought of as normal for her. She hung on to her dad all during the service and then went forward. She gave her life to God! After church, we went to lunch. After lunch, Roger asked her where she wanted to go from here. She asked him if he had any suggestions because she didn't have a place to go. (She had been kicked out of the house where she had been living.) Roger suggested Safe Family Ministries and she said ok. (Safe Family Ministries is a faith based program for women who need help getting their lives back together.)
We drove her there without even calling to see if they had an opening. When we got there they said they didn't have an opening, but gave us some papers to fill out. Every place they asked for her address, she wrote "here." She had nothing else to write. After filling out all the papers, we talked to a counselor. After a while, she said that if we could get our daughter's things and have her back by 8:30 p.m., they would make room for her. God made a place for her where there was not place!
She was doing great and talked to our pastor to set up her baptism for Father's Day as a gift for her dad. We couldn't have been happier! Roger got to dunk her while the pastor said the words. Through all of this we have cried a bunch, but there were more happy tears than sad ones.
Now that I have told you my side of the story, I will tell you our daughter's side in her own words. She's not real good at spelling but I'm not going to correct her spelling because it wouldn't be the same.
So let me back up at least to February 25th. On this morning I took a very large kitchen knife and put it into my gut with both hands. I did not think about how I was going to end my life I just knew I wanted to for quite a while. Well that morning I snapped!! The knife was serated and went in 4 and a half inches. I remember looking down and seeing the knife iin my stomic and thinking, that did not work! I pulled it out. Went to my room and locked my bedroom door. I preceaded in getting ready for the trip to the hospital. One of my roommates saw what I did and was screaming and bagging on my door and yelling to my other roommates. When I was ready I unlocked the door and layed down on my bed. All at once I had 4 men standing over me yelling. I was covered in blood. Scip put pressure to my stomic. Gary called 911. That is when I started crying because it did not work, I WAS STILL ALIVE!!
I had surgery that morning. I was cut open from the bottom of my ribs 6in down. I woke up with 23 metal staples in myu stomic. I had not hurt anything but muscel and tishue. I am not sure how I missed everything but I am sure God knows. I was in and out of it for the first 5 days. I remember a lot of people coming to see me, mostly family. One visitor I remember well was my little brother Jody. He came in yelling at me, I fell back asleep while he was yelling. My oldest son Steven called from Oklahoma also yelling at me. He hung up on me and called back in two minutes telling me how much he loves me. I understood the yelling a lot more than I understood my Dad and Step Mommy sitting quietly next to my hospital bed holding my hand every day. After 5 days I was told that if I could go doo doo I could leave the hospital. Do you know how hard it is to do that on pain meds and after having all your stomic muscles cut in half?! I cried but I got her done. But going home was not an option yet first I had to get back on mental health medication. So I went from 1 hospital to another one. It really was a good thing I could barely walk. So I spent 5 more days in the hospital got on some mental health meds. Did I mention I am dignosed with bi-poler disorder? I also had been off my meds for 7 or 8 months and using meth, and marijuana heavily.
When I was released from the hospital in Tacoma I went back home to my same house. I was still very raw and still had the staples. My house was on well wter and we were picking up sediment from the bottem. So the water was very bad. I decided, to go and stay at the motel I had worked at before. I proceeded in getting high and walking the 3 and a half miles to my house and back everyday. I was still in a great amount of fisical pain. But I could deal with that kind of pain better than emotional. After 3 days at the motel I called my Daddy, who had recently redeticated his life to Christ, asked him if Mommy and him could come get me for church the next morning. Of course he said yes!! So I was out walking till 11pm that night. Went to bed crying because of the pain in my heart and body. My phone rang at 0 dark 30. It was my Daddy saying ", good morning princes today is dayhlight savings you have an hour to be ready for church." I could hardly move but I was determined to look my best for my Mommy and Daddy. When they did show up I was in a frantic mess to get ready. I started crying and told my Daddy, to tell me what to do and I will do it. He told me to pack up all my stuff at the motel and we would figure it out after church.
That morning in Napavine Assembly of God church I put my life at God's feet and asked Him into my life again. The funny thing is I don't think He was ever really gone. All at once I felt 2000lbs. lighter and thhis calming that could only be a God thing. Aftrer church some of my family went out to lunch at Sunbirds resterent. When it was time to leave my Dad says he has an idea where to take me instead of back to the motel or my drug house. We pulled up to Safe Family Ministries. I have been to jail more times then I can count and prison 3 times. I was not willingly going to put myself in another prison. I think I was most scared of saying ok I will do this program and then leaving and letting God and my folks down again. Me? I had always let myself down so that was no biggy. But I went inside and they said we don't have any beds open but if you fill this 20lb. packet of papers out we will see what we can do. I started to have a panic attack just looking at the paper work. My Dad took my hand and my Mommy said WE can do this. We prayed and started working on the paper work. When we were finished, 5hrs. later, not really but it felt like it, we were told if we wanted to go get my stuff from my house and come back by 8pm they would have a room for me. I took a deep breath and said lets do this. So we went to myh house. I cried the whole time. Each of my roommates cdame and told me how proud they were of me and how much they loved me. All I could do was bawl. I did not want to leave any of them behind. I love them all so much, they were all my Dogs they still are. I pray they will make it out with Christs help also some day.
So here I am at Safe Family Ministries. All I do is work and sing to God. If any one was looking for Tima they just had to find a pot hole and there I would be soon to fill it. I work my self to straight exostion and pain so I couldn't move any more. I think that was Gods way of keeping me here till I had completely surrenderd, because I could not walk down the street to leave by the end of the day. I sang and praised God with every breath. I still do when I am not arguing with pastor Don or someone else in authority. I am trying to work on my mouth but I have given everything up now God wants me to shut up and listen!! Since coming here I have been offered a wondeerful job if I leave and move in to my own 4 bedroom house. My answer was no way devil!! I have also been offered a place with my first love and my first born son. I know the devil is trying to get me to leave Safe. I know I am strong with my Lord but I am not all I can and will be. I committed to a year here in this program, but what I really did was committed my life to learning as much as I can before I am turned loose on the world to spread the news of eternal life and what you do to receave what is offered to everyone. I will never stop learning, God willing. I have served enough prison and jail time. Now its time I serve my Father God.
God bless all,
Tina Ann Thode
We are so proud of our daughter and we love her so much. We are thankful to our God for allowing us to still have her in our life. Tina has been through so much and her life shows that no matter how far you have traveled away from God, He is still right there waiting for you to turn to Him and ask Him into your life. Because of what Tina has been through, she is able to understand others who are going through tough times in their lives. God has a plan for her and everything she has experienced has made her who she is today.
Until next time, God bless.
Lila
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